I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dicks are not precious.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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