I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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