5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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