im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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