"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
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and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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