i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
My bed smells like the plague
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
