I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
