I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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