so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
