I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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