I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
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230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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