dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
