there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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