a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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