Where is the hickey?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
