I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
