You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
