think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
