It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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