Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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