Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
