He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
