I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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