Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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