I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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