Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
