And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
