Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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