youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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