I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
