Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The power of my boobs compel you
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
