He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
