I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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