Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
