How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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