I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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