and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
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You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
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There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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