but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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