You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Randomize