Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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