Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
