i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
