And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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