Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
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Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
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THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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