Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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