im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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