White coat. Heels.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
