I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
