you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.