my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
