If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
