My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
