just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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