he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I think pants incapable of making pants work
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
