So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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