Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
my poor anus
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
