I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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