He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
