Fine. I'll sleep in my office
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize