ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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