She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
its not stalking. its research.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
