Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
