Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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