that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
