Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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