You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Randomize
