I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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